Let’s talk about Christians leaving the Christian church.
I recently saw a FaceBook comment that said in part:
“I’m a person of faith but have no desire to be religious. Intolerance is one of the primary reasons I left the church. I have no room in my life for self-righteous hypocrites.”
I have seen many similar comments over the years. I also personally know people this has happened to, good people who love the Lord but who no longer go to church. Sometimes people stop going because of a negative experience that they personally have had or because something negative happened to someone close to them. Sometimes people stop going because they have become disillusioned by deficiencies in the church, either their specific church or the Christian church in general. Some people never start going in the first place because of the attitude, both real and perceived, projected by the church and it’s people. This happens way too often and it’s tragic.
I do understand why this happens. Maybe you have something in your past that you aren’t proud of and, even though it is behind you now, some people in the church are aware of it and some of them treat you in a way that is less than welcoming and friendly. You think to yourself “Didn’t Jesus teach forgiveness and where is the forgiveness here”. Maybe no one has shunned you but you are afraid that they will and this makes you really self conscious. Maybe you know someone who is in church all the time and is always posting churchie things on FaceBook but the way they live is worse than many of the people you know who don’t go to church. Maybe you know someone who has done something that they shouldn’t have or they are living a lifestyle that you know isn’t right but, overall, they are a good person and they don’t deserve to be treated poorly by people in the church who openly look down on them. Maybe there’s nothing at all wrong with them but they’re what some people may think of as a little rough around the edges and they are looked down on by people in the church because of it. You look at all this and it doesn’t make going to church seem particularly palatable. I Get that. I really do.
Let me ask you a question. Have you ever gotten bad service at a restaurant? Are there some restaurants that you just don’t care for? Are there some foods that are served by most restaurants that you don’t like? I’m sure you answered yes to some or all of these questions. There are bad servers and bad restaurants and bad foods. So, as a result of this, have you stopped eating?
Now, I know what some of you are thinking:
Of course I haven’t stopped eating but that’s different. You have to eat to survive but you don’t have to go to church to be a good person. Besides, just like you can eat at home instead of going to a restaurant, you can study the Bible at home instead of going to church.
Here’s my answer:
Just as you have to eat in order to physically survive, you have to fellowship with other believers in order to spiritually survive or, if not survive, certainly in order to spiritually thrive. Do you have to go to church to be a good person? No, of course not. Like you, I know some people who don’t go to church who are better people than some of the people I know who do go to church. Can you study the Bible at home? Of course you can and you should because you simply are not going to get enough exposure to God’s Word at church on Sunday to grow much as a Christian. However, although you don’t have to go to church to be a good person and you don’t have to go to church to study the Bible, there’s just no getting around the fact that going to church is vital to your spiritual life. If you do get into studying God’s Word at home and start putting into practice what It teaches, It is going to send you to church.
Let’s go back to that FaceBook comment. The person said that they are a person of faith but have no desire to be religious. I am not absolutely certain what they meant by “person of faith” but , given the overall context of the post and comment thread, they appear to have meant that they are a Christian. Similarly, when they said that they “have no desire to be religious”, I assume that they meant that they have no desire to have anything to do with church. Those two things are somewhat incompatible. They are not entirely incompatible because it is possible to not go to church and still truly be a Christian. However, in order to walk in the Spirit, in order to grow in one’s faith and Christian walk, in order to truly live the Christian life, and in order to be obedient to what God teaches in His Word, one must go to church.
God’s Word teaches that we must fellowship with other believers and there are reasons for that.
1 Corinthians 12
12 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.
13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.
14 For in fact the body is not one member but many.
15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body?
16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body?
17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling?
18 But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased.
19 And if they were all one member, where would the body be?
20 But now indeed there are many members, yet one body.
21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”
22 No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.
There is much diversity in the Christian community, which is as God intended it, partially because different people serve different functions in God’s service, but all Christians are part of what Scripture often refers to as the body of Christ. All parts of our physical bodies must be present and working properly in order for our bodies to function as they should. If a part of the body is missing or has something wrong with it, the body will not function as God intended. The same is true of Christ’s body, the church.
For example, I am completely blind, as in can’t see a flashlight if you shine it in my eyes, and this severely limits my abilities. Sure, there are many meaningful things I can do. For example, I am typing this article and I am very thankful for the technology that God has provided which allows me to do that. However, the way that I have to do that is much slower and less efficient than the way you do it if you can see properly. Similarly, if you are a child of God and you are not actively joining with His body, the church, then the church will still function but it will not function as well as it would with you present.
In the same way, if you aren’t present, you also won’t function as well. The body needs the members but the members also need the body. Verse 21 above makes it clear that one member of the body cannot say to another member of the body “I have no need of you”. That cuts both ways in that it applies equally to those in the Church and to you. The Church cannot say to you “I have no need of you”. You can’t say that to the church either. I really need my hands but they also need me. Without my hands, I couldn’t type this. If I cut off my right hand, without the rest of my body, it will die.
You may say that the body of Christ refers to all believers, which is true, and that, as a believer, you can be a part of the body while not being at church. You can be a part of His body while staying home but you cannot be an obedient member who actually does what He teaches while staying home. God commanded all the members of His body to physically gather together.
Hebrews 10
24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,
25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
What exactly does it mean to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. Well, I don’t know exactly because Paul didn’t tell us. I don’t think we have to be legalistic about it. Do we have to be in church absolutely every time the door is open? No, I don’t think so. Do we need to be there more often than one Sunday morning per month? Yes, I think we definitely do. Regardless of exactly how often we attend, it’s clear that, if we are going to truly live the Christian life and be obedient to God, then not attending at all simply is not an option.
We are not meant to live the Christian life alone. Does going to church make you a Christian? No, absolutely not. However, in order to live the Christian life, in order to truly be disciples, we need each other.
Paul said “let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works”. We are supposed to help each other, to show Christ’s love to one another, to support one another as we seek to be about God’s business here on Earth. We can’t do that if we aren’t regularly together.
My wife and I recently started teaching a singles Sunday school class but, before that, Let me tell you, we had a Sunday school teacher who has to be one of the best in the world. He doesn’t just read the lesson. He really digs in deep. He really has a passion for the Word and he’s good at challenging you and making you think about things that are revealed in God’s truth that you might not have thought about before. You don’t have to have a degree in theology to do that. He is a truck driver. He keeps everyone updated about each-other’s needs by regularly texting prayer requests. They’re good about asking each other to pray in that class. Sometimes, they do more for each other than just pray. Shortly before we left the class, a guy in the class found out about some maintenance that needed to be done on our old and warn out vehicle that we couldn’t afford to do. To make a long story short, feeling God’s leading, he ended up giving us an extra vehicle he had. You see, digging into the Word together and helping each-other to understand it. Helping to meet each-other’s practical needs. That’s why we, as members of the body of Christ, need each other.
We do also sometimes need to gently offer criticism and correction to one another. I emphasize “gently”. What we do not need to do is, when we have what we consider to be negative knowledge about someone, to avoid them where possible and look at them as though they are the worst person in the world. We need to remember that we struggle with our own sins and we need to remember that any goodness that is present in us is not ours, but His goodness showing through us, thanks to His love and grace. We need to extend that same love and grace to others. When we fail to do that, it’s no wonder that they don’t want to come and fellowship with us.
If you have been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment from those in the Christian church, I am truly sorry. If you have gone to a church and not felt welcomed there or if you have been treated badly, please know that those who treated you this way were not doing what Jesus commanded His followers to do. You probably already know that. Please also consider the possibility that all churches are not this way. I can tell you, first hand, that they are not. Many are very warm and welcoming. Many of them are more than willing to lovingly walk with you through whatever you may be going through and help you to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus and then help you to grow closer in your walk with Him. That is not to say that they will have an “anything goes” attitude or that they will turn a blind eye to any sin that you may be struggling with. Jesus didn’t command His followers to do that and, in fact, He taught and practiced confrontation of sin. However, people in Christ’s church should handle this as He did and walk with you through your situation in love, not yell at you in judgement, and there are many churches where the people would love to do that.
If you are part of the cause of people leaving the Christian church, then I challenge you to get in the Word and see what God says about how to treat those who struggle with sin that is different from yours (we all struggle with sin) and ask Him to give you a heart to love those who are different from you. You might want to start with 1 John, chapter 4, and read the whole chapter but pay particular attention to verses 4 and 20.
If you have stopped going to church or never started going, then I challenge you to get in God’s word and see what He has to say about the necessity of church in the Christian’s life. You might want to start with the verses I mentioned, 1 Corinthians 12, verses 12 through 22, and Hebrews 10, verses 24 and 25. Don’t stop there though. God has a lot more to say about it. I also challenge you to extend some of the grace to others that maybe they haven’t extended to you (Jesus did that) and give church another try. You need it and it needs you.
Recommended Further Reading:
Perhaps you are one of the people in the church who is unintentionally being overly judgmental and, through that attitude, you may be driving people away. Perhaps you have gotten out of church because you see the Christian stance on certain sins or lifestyles and it strikes you as being self-righteous and overly judgmental. in either case, you may want to check out these two related articles.
Being Judgmental
http://www.scottduck.com/being-judgmental/
We Must Judge
http://www.scottduck.com/we-must-judge/
