Forgiveness. Easy to say. Very hard to do.
The bible says, in Mark 12:31, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”. This can be the hardest commandment to keep but doing so is absolutely vital to your fellowship with God. There are several reasons for this and there is a whole lot to say about it. I will talk more about this in other posts but, here, I will focus on only one aspect. That is, in order to truly receive God’s forgiveness, we must sincerely forgive others.
The Bible says, in 1 John 4:20, that we cannot hate one another and yet love God. Matthew 6:14-15 says that if you forgive men their trespasses then your heavenly Father will also forgive you but if you do not forgive men their trespasses then neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Hmmm, kind of harsh, isn’t it, God? I mean, seriously, there are things that don’t deserve to be forgiven, right? So why does the Bible say that? I use to wonder about that.
I think that it is instructive to back up a couple of verses, to verse 12, which asks God to forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Do we really want God to do that? This verse implies that our debts will only be forgiven if we forgive those who owe us. At first glance, this seems a bit harsh as well but, if we really think about it, it has to be this way and this verse will help us to understand why.
Think about something. Christ paid our sin debt, a debt which we could not pay. He also paid the sin debt of our enemies. He satisfied all debts, in full, and He did so using the same currency, His righteousness, a currency which we do not possess. We cannot very well demand payment for a debt that has already been paid. If we say that the currency was no good to pay that debt, then it must have also been no good to pay our debt which then, apparently, remains unpaid as well. He paid or He didn’t. We can’t have it both ways.
Think about it this way. Let’s say that I have gone to lunch with David, my Sunday school teacher, and Tim, our pastor. Just before we go into the restaurant, Tim tells me that he wants one of my books. I tell him that they are $20 and he says that’s fine. I give Tim the book and He tells me that he will pay me later. We enjoy our meal and time of fellowship. When the server brings the check, it is for $50. David, being generous, lays down three twenties and a ten, and says that this will cover the meal and the book. I ask what he is talking about. He says that he has really enjoyed our time of food and fellowship and he wants to cover our meals and, also, being a good church member, he also wants to pay for a book from a top notch Christian author for our pastor so he wants to pay for the book that I previously gave to Tim. Now wait a second. I tell David that I wrote the book and I want to get paid for it. David says that payment is indeed deserved and that he is paying the debt. I say that I don’t like this. I wrote the book, Tim will read the book, I want to get paid by Tim. I tell David that his money is no good for this debt. The server breaks in and says to me “Excuse me sir, I will need some payment for your meal”. I say “My friend here has generously paid for it”. The server says “But I just heard you tell him that his money is no good to you so it must be counterfeit and you must pay me yourself”.
All of the time, people do things that they can’t make up for, even if they wanted to, which often they don’t. How does a drunk driver bring back a dead child? How does a cheating spouse bring back trust to a marriage? How does an abusive parent undo past pain that they have inflicted? They can’t. They may or may not be remorseful but, even if they are, remorse alone is not enough to atone for sin. They owe a debt that they can’t pay. No matter how much we deserve payment, they can’t pay us because they don’t have the proper currency.
We may not have done whatever they did to us but we are sinful too. Romans 3:10 says that no one is righteous and Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Read Romans 6:23. The first part says “the wages of sin is death”. That is what we owe God for our sin. What does the next part of Romans 6:23 say? It says “but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”. Eternal life is a gift. It is not and cannot be earned. How did Jesus pay for this gift? 2 Corinthians 5:21 says that Christ never sinned but he took our sins on himself and Romans 5:8 says that He died as punishment for those sins. So, the son of God paid for the most precious gift that we could ever receive with his own blood. That blood covers all our sins, mine, yours, and all our enemies. We had better be careful about saying that it doesn’t cover theirs because, if it doesn’t, then it must not cover ours either and, in light of the fact that we have no currency (Romans 3:10), where does that leave us?
I have struggled with hatred. I won’t go into the reasons here but, for a period of time, several years ago, I hated someone for what they had done to someone very close to me and, from a worldly prospective, I was absolutely justified. Until I let go of the hatred, this destroyed my fellowship with God but I didn’t realize it until God had taken the hatred from me. And He did take the hatred from me because I, myself, could not let go of it. I tried. Well, I sort of tried. Deep down, I didn’t want to let go of it. I knew that this hatred was a sin and that it caused Jesus to bear a great deal more suffering on my behalf. Still, I could not or would not let go of it. I came to a point where I had to ask God to forgive me for everything that I had put Him through as a result of this hatred and, broken before Him, I finally sincerely asked him to take it from me. He did. The moment that God took that hatred from me is the moment that my relationship with Him started to heal.
If you are harboring hatred in your heart, you must get rid of it. If you can’t, you must ask God to take it. If you sincerely ask, He will take it. You need to be aware that this is often a long term and ongoing process and you must lean on Him at every step. In this, as in all things, you will find Him faithful. You may be completely justified in feeling the way that you feel. I certainly was. But I’m telling you that you cannot feel that way and enjoy fellowship with God. Until you leave the hatred behind, you will never truly fulfill God’s purpose for your life and you will never truly walk in step with Him.
