We are approaching Valentines Day, a time when many of us tend to think about romantic love. As I recently thought about love and relationships, I began to reflect on the fact that all relationships that involve love also involve choices.
When I asked my wife to marry me, I did just that, I asked her. I did not tell her that she was going to marry me. I don’t think doing it that way would have worked very well. Before that, I did not tell her that we were going to go out on a date, I asked her, and I was pretty nervous about it too. I was nervous because her answer was not a forgone conclusion. She had a choice to say yes or no and she had a lot of reasons to say no. I was a divorced blind guy with three kids and when she said yes, especially to the marriage, she was also saying yes to all the potential complications that went with that situation. I couldn’t make her say yes and, even if I could have, I wouldn’t have. Love cannot be forced. A forced yes would have been meaningless. In order for “yes” to be meaningful, “no” also must be a possibility. It was the very fact that she had a choice that gave her choice meaning. She knew what she was getting into, at least somewhat, and even though she didn’t have to and had plenty of reason not to, she chose me.
Have you ever thought about how it’s the same way with a relationship with Jesus? He too had a choice, He too had plenty of reason not to choose me, and yet, He did anyway.
2 Corinthians 5:21 says that Christ never sinned but he took our sins on himself and Romans 5:8 says that He died as punishment for those sins. He literally never did anything wrong, ever. Yet, the sins of the rest of humanity were placed upon him and He bore the punishment for those sins. Not only did he bear the horrors that any man would have borne who was executed by scourging and crucifixion, but He also somehow supernaturally took all of our eternities in Hell, compressed into those few hours. And none of it was because of anything He had done. It was because of what we did. Talk about the ultimate injustice. Why did He do that?
He certainly didn’t have to do it. Jesus was fully man and so He suffered as much as any man would, actually He suffered more. However, He was also fully God and, thus, He could have very easily stopped what was happening to Him. He did have a choice. I think we sometimes forget that. Speaking of His own life, in John 10:18, Jesus said “No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again.” In Matthew 26:53, just before His trial, Jesus said to Peter “do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?” In John 19:11, Jesus told Pilate “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above”. Clearly, by His own admission, He could have stopped it. He had a choice and He made that choice with his eyes wide open. He knew exactly what He was getting into. He didn’t volunteer to go to the cross for me and then say “I didn’t know you had all this sin I was going to have to pay for”. Romans 5:8 says “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. He didn’t have to do what He did and He had plenty of reason not to but, still, He chose me. He also chose you.
Speaking of you, you have a choice here too. God, being God, could force you to choose Him but, as I said earlier, a forced choice isn’t really a choice and so is meaningless. God has chosen you but, in order to have a relationship with Him, you must choose Him too. I chose my wife as the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but I had to find out how she felt about the situation. When I asked her to marry me, if she had said no, that would have been the end of that. Similarly, if you tell God no, or if you ignore His drawing you, then the answer is no.
I said I was nervous when I asked my wife to marry me because her answer was not a foregone conclusion. That is not so concerning entering into a relationship with God. We need not be afraid because we already have His answer. Romans 10:13 says “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved”. If we call on Him and ask Him to save us, He will say yes but it is up to us to ask.
If we choose to ask to enter into a relationship with Him, the choices don’t end there. What if, after our wedding vows, I had made the choice to violate those vows and when my wife confronted me about the situation, I said “Oh, you were serious about that?”. How do you suppose the marriage would fair? If we enter into a relationship with God and we do basically the same thing, how do you suppose that relationship will fair? God is always faithful because faithfulness is in His very nature and He cannot deny Himself (2 Timothy 2:13). Jesus does not expect us to be perfect, as He is, but He does expect us to take the relationship seriously. In Luke 6:46, He said “why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?”. If we are to truly have a relationship with Him, we must continue to do our best to adhere to the standards found in His Word. He will help us to do that (1 Corinthians 10:13) but He will not do it for us. We must make the choice.
Loving relationships are all about choices and choices don’t make themselves. God wants a relationship with you and He has made His choices. What about you?
