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January is Sanctity of Life Month. This is an issue that is close to my heart, not just as a Christian, but as someone who could have been aborted under todays laws, in some states, at the gestational age at which I was born. I was born at 26 weeks gestation and I was a triplet, which lowers birth weight, so I was probably the equivalent of a 24 week or less single pregnancy today. Some states allow a baby to be aborted at 24 weeks. That just isn’t right. I want to tell you why I say that, in hopes of changing the minds of some women who may be thinking about having an abortion. I also want to talk to you if you are a mother who has already had an abortion, in order to offer you some encouragement.
The debate concerning sanctity of life used to mostly revolve around the debate concerning when life begins. That doesn’t seem to be the case so much any more but, still, I want to talk about it a little from this prospective.
I personally believe that life begins at conception.
Jeremiah 1
5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you;I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
To put this in context, This was part of God calling Jeremiah to be a profit. You and I may not be profits but Jeremiah was conceived and born in the same way that we were and all of us have things God has called us to do. If God knew Jeremiah before he was born then God knew us before we were born. In order to know someone, don’t they have to be alive? Doesn’t that sound like life begins at conception?
The debate concerning when life begins has often revolved around when the baby could survive outside the mother. One problem with this way of defining life is that when the baby can survive outside the mother keeps changing. So, does that mean that the definition of life keeps changing? Call me simple but it seems to me that something as fundamental as the definition of life would be a constant.
A normal full term pregnancy is 40 weeks. 100 years ago, if a baby was born before 35 or 36 weeks, they had a severely decreased chance of survival and if they were born before about 32 weeks, they just pretty much weren’t going to survive. So, back then, would you say that a fetus at less than 32 weeks gestation wasn’t yet alive? A lot of advances have been made in neonatal medicine in the last 100 years. In 1977, I was born at 26 weeks. I weighed 2 pounds and 3 ounces and lost down to 1 pound 15 ounces. It was thought that I basically had no chance of survival but here I am. Clearly, I am alive. Between 100 years ago and 40 years ago, did the definition of life change? I don’t think it did. Now, babies born at 26 weeks have an excellent chance of survival and they can even occasionally save a baby as early as 22 weeks. Has the definition of the beginning of life changed again? I don’t think so.
Now, with laws in many states allowing full term abortions, we have stopped worrying about the debate concerning when life begins. I know that some will point out that many of these laws say that an abortion can be done after a certain number of weeks only if the mother’s life is at risk. First, even if the mother’s life is at risk, I don’t believe that abortion is justified. If abortion is murder then it is murder, regardless of the circumstances, as unfortunate as those circumstances may be. It is murder or it isn’t. You can’t have it both ways. Second, the law in some states actually says that the abortion can be done if the mother’s life is at risk or if her health is at risk. It is my understanding that her health being at risk can legally be very broadly interpreted to include mental well being, which can encompass almost anything, quite possibly including the mother not feeling that she can handle the responsibility of taking care of the baby. Concerning the debate about when life begins, you can’t seriously argue that a full term healthy baby isn’t alive just because it happens to be still inside its mother. So, we no longer even bother to ask the question “is it really alive yet”. We just ask “when can we get away with killing it”. To me, that is truly and deeply disturbing.
If you are a woman contemplating abortion, I am begging you, please don’t. It is God who creates all life and He is completely sovereign. The timing of your pregnancy may not have been your first choice and, honestly, it may not have been God’s first choice either but, being completely sovereign, He did have to allow it for it to happen and it is He who actually gave your baby life. That little life growing inside you may be inside your body but its life is not yours, it is God’s, and only He has the right to take it.
At this point, I would like to talk to my wife, Lara, to do a bit of a Q and A. I think she has a story that many women out there may be able to relate to and, through that, I think that God may be able to offer those women some encouragement.
Lara and I have ben married for 10 years now. I want to talk to her about her life before we met. First though, to give you a little background, I want to tell you just a little about my life before I met Lara and sense I met her.
I married right out of college, when I was 23. I was married for 9 years and had 3 kids and then my first wife decided she wanted a divorce. I am also completely blind. So, here I was, a blind guy with 3 small kids with whom I share custody with my ex-wife. I figured most women wouldn’t want to touch a guy like me with a 10 foot pole but I thought God might have someone out there for me and I prayed about it. He sent me Lara and Drake. I married Lara and adopted Drake. They have been such a blessing to me. When I adopted Drake, I found out that they changed the birth certificate and put my name on there and I have always thought that is so cool. Drake is my child, just as much as my biological children are, and I love him so much. In fact, he is the child that is probably the most like me. I think God was setting up things for our family, even all those years ago. Lara has loved my children like her own. she has been such a wonderful wife and mother and life partner and ministry partner. God has definitely worked things out for our good.
Now, I want to let Lara tell you a little about her life, before we met, in hopes that some women reading this can relate to her story and that God might use her to encourage them.
Question: Let’s go back 20 years. Let’s talk about your teenage years and early adult life. Tell me a little about the teenage Lara.
Answer: Oh man, where do I begin. Well, first of all I was raised in a Christian home. I became a Christian at age 9. As an adolescent, although I did not know what it was at the time, I dealt with a lot of anxiety and later as a teen, depression as well. Me as a teenager, I was looking for acceptance in all the wrong places, I was sexually promiscuous and that lead to deeper depression. I really didn’t care about myself, I felt horribly guilty about my sin but felt that I was in so deep that I couldn’t turn back. Pretty much all of my High School years were a complete mess, socially, personally, relationship wise.
Question: You found out you were pregnant. What emotions did you experience? What went through your mind?
Answer: It was the Fall of my freshman year of college, I was 18 years old, I had continued on a roller coaster of sexual immorality, trying to repent, then sliding back into living a sinful life. When I figured out that I was pregnant I absolutely felt sick with fear and shame. I had tried to hide my behavior as a teen and my family did not know the extent of my issues. Just, so much shame and fear. Unlike when a married couple find out they are expecting and there is excitement and happiness, this was the complete opposite. All my reckless behavior had caught up to me and there was no hiding it now.
Question: What steps did you take? Did you consider abortion?
Answer: I knew that abortion was an available option and I definitely could see how it would be initially attractive to someone in my position. By the time that I went to a pregnancy care center, one of those centers that is run by Christians and there to help girls make good decisions about their unplanned pregnancy, I had made up my mind that abortion was not an option for me. This was very early on. Basically, I knew it was an option legally but not an option for me as a Christian. They were so kind and really comforted me. They talked about the possibility that my parents might kick me out, I knew that my parents were not like that but I know many girls face that situation. They helped give me courage to tell my parents.
Question: Can you see why someone in that situation might consider abortion?
Answer: Yes, absolutely. The thought that I could go to a clinic, have a procedure done, go home and forget that it ever happened did cross my mind but I knew it was wrong and I had to face the shame, as hard as that was.
Question: You had your baby. How did things work out?
Answer: Having my baby was the best thing that could have happened to me at that time in my life. I didn’t completely change overnight but it was the wakeup call from God that my life was out of control and I needed to come back to Him and now I had a little child to be responsible for. I look at it like this, God had tried and tried to get my attention during my teen years and that was the final thing that got my attention. I don’t know where I would be if I had not had Drake.
Question: I’m sure you thought the pregnancy and raising Drake would be hard. Was it? Tell me about that.
Answer: I had a supportive family so that made a huge difference. I know that it is different for other women but this is my experience. I always wanted to be a mother and I really enjoyed having a baby but it was not the most stable time in my life and things were not always ideal. I had to rely on my parents and grandparents to watch Drake and I also had to put him in daycare while I went to class. I moved out of my parents home when Drake was almost a year old, I moved to University family housing for a year. It was tough doing it on my own, I still depended on a lot of help from my parents. I was working weekends and going to school during the week. After a year of that I decided to move us back home with my parents, which was extremely hard as well. Trying to be a more independent adult and raising a child while still needing help from your parents was not a walk in the park. There were a lot of arguments and understandably a power struggle.
Question: Looking back now, do you feel that God took care of you and Drake? Do you feel like God was working out things for your future? Tell me about that.
Answer: God did take care of us, first by providing a supportive family for Drake and I and second by working things out for our good. It was not all sunshine and rainbows though. Being a young adult, I wanted everything to fall into place immediately. I wanted an instant family, I wanted a husband and father to Drake that would help take care of him. That did not happen for many years and those years were tough. God kept asking me to be patient but I would ignore that and try to move forward without his guidance. I made many mistakes but eventually I let go of control and let God lead me to where I am today. Although, not perfectly, I feel that I am living in God’s will today.
Question: I know that the circumstances of your pregnancy wouldn’t have been your first choice and not God’s first choice either. I also know that Drake has been a blessing. Tell me about that.
Answer: God blessed me with a healthy, perfect baby boy. Drake was such a precious little child. He was no trouble to take care of, I needed that because I was very short on patience back then. God knew I needed that. Drake was and is a blessing, I don’t know where I would be without him. I’m so proud of the man that Drake has grown to be, he’s 20 years old now, he’s a Christian, he has a good heart and I know God has a good future for Drake. I wouldn’t want to imagine where I would have ended up if God had not given me such a gift.
Question: If there are any young women out there who are now like you were, any teenage Lara’s out there, what would you like to say to them?
Answer: I don’t have a dramatic story but I do know the fear and anxiety of an unplanned pregnancy as a young woman. If you find yourself faced with an unplanned pregnancy, please don’t consider abortion, these little lives are so, so precious. God has a plan for you and your baby. If you don’t know what to do or where to start, I would suggest you first go to a Pregnancy Care Center, do a search online for one near you. They have resources available to women in that position.
I want to thank Lara for sharing her story. If you are a woman considering abortion, I pray that God has spoken through her to touch your heart, to give you some things to think about.
Now, I would like to talk to the women who have already had abortions and there are a lot of you. About 1 out of every 4 women in the United States has had an abortion. If you are one of those, listen to me. You may feel guilty about what you did. I have heard the testimonies of many women who feel that way and there are psychological studies which say that, even when they don’t openly talk about it, most women who have had abortions carry deep shame and guilt for the rest of their life. You do not have to carry that guilt around with you forever. Your life is precious to God too and carrying that guilt is the last thing He would want.
I’m going to talk about the plan of salvation here. In doing so, I am not at all implying that a woman having had an abortion means that she is not a Christian. Sometimes, even for Christians, the plan of salvation needs repeating, as a reminder that salvation is not something we can earn and so we don’t need to feel subdued by past sin. I’m going to say a few other things too so please don’t tune me out.
How are we saved? Can we be good enough? Romans 3:10 says that no one is righteous and Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. So no, we cannot be good enough because we all sin.
What do we deserve because of that sin? Read Romans 6:23. The first part says “the wages of sin is death”. What are “wages”? They are what we get for doing something, like getting paid for doing a job. So, what we should get for our sin is death. In this case, what does “death” mean? It means eternal spiritual separation from God. After physical death, it also means going to Hell. So, for our sin, we deserve to be eternally separated from God and forever burn in Hell.
If you have had an abortion, you have caused the physical death of another human being. I don’t deny that. But we have all done bad things, sometimes worse than we would like to think about. I struggled with the call to Christian ministry for years before surrendering to it. In so doing, I delayed the work that God had for me to do and, as a result of that, I may have indirectly caused some people’s spiritual death, which I just described. Contrary to what popular culture would have us believe, Hell is a very real place and my stubbornness may have helped to send some people there. I don’t like to think about that and, when I do, it makes me shutter. To me, my sin is worse than yours, and yet, the guilt about that doesn’t way me down and keep me from running the race that God has put before me. Why not?
What does the next part of Romans 6:23 say? It says “but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”. How did Jesus pay for this gift of eternal life? 2 Corinthians 5:21 says that Christ never sinned but he took our sins on himself and Romans 5:8 says that He died as punishment for those sins. So, the son of God payed for the most precious gift that we could ever receive with his own blood. Once we have received this gift, every single sin that I have committed and you have committed is covered by that blood and so God no longer sees it. I’m talking about every single sin, including my refusing to listen to God’s calling, your abortion, and every other sinful thing we have done. Rest in that and take comfort from it. But, remember, that’s only if you have received His precious gift.
In order to prepare to receive this gift, we have to repent, which means to turn from our sins. This doesn’t mean that we have to be perfect. We cannot be perfect, we cannot meet God’s standard of righteousness (see Romans 3:10 and 3:23, which I just talked about) and this is still true, even after salvation. However, the importance of repentance to God is a theme that runs throughout scripture in both the Old and New Testament. Even Christians still struggle with sin but we must see our sin for what it is, an abomination before a completely holy God. We must truly be remorseful to God and always strive to turn from sin. We must also realize that the only way that we can be reconciled with God is through the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf.
So, how do we get this most precious of all gifts? Read John 3:16.
For God so loved the world
that he gave his only begotten Son (Jesus)
that whoever believes in him (whoever means absolutely everyone)
should not perish, but have everlasting life (not die spiritually and be separated from God)
To get this gift from Jesus, you have to ask him to save you. Romans 10:13 says that “whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved”.
You have to pray and ask Jesus to save you and that goes something like this: Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and that I deserve to be separated from God for eternity. I know that I don’t deserve forgiveness but I also know that you died to save me from my sins. I repent of my sins and I want you to come into my heart and save me. I give my life to you and submit to you as my master.
We should be baptized after we are saved (Matthew 28:19). Baptism symbolizes his death, burial, and resurrection. This tells the world what we have done.
Did you pray the prayer above or something similar? If you did and you were sincere then your name is now written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and when God looks at you, He does not see your sin but the righteousness of Jesus. If you have never prayed that prayer, if you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then I urge you to give this your full attention. Nothing is more important. In John 14:6, Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no one comes to the Father, except by me”. Do you know him?
